Tension control exercise
The main goal here is to learn how to monitor your tension so as to be able to control your arousal.
Your goal should be to learn how to move your pelvis with as little muscular tension as possible. As we already know, muscular tension encourages ejaculation. Later, you will be able to change the levels of your muscular tension during sex; you will learn to move more sensually, which will also make you experience greater pleasure.
You don’t have to use a lot of strength during sex. You can do it softly. The technique we are going to use here is called contrast. It’s important to feel – through the contrast – the difference between intense movement and calm movement.
If you feel the difference, it will be easier for you to recognize the level of your muscular strength during sex and therefore change it at will! Now, drop to your knees and put your hands on the floor. Yes, you read correctly.
Men too must sometimes do it. In this position, raise your back breathing out (like a scared cat would) and imagine you are lifting up a huge weight and that you need a lot of effort to actually do it.
Now, lower your back to the floor and raise your head up, while breathing in, and imagine you are resisting the weight. Raise your back and lower it down once while you are really tightened. Do this 3 times. Now, do this again, imagining you lift a feather, not a weight, this time. Raise your back in a very relaxed fashion. Lower your back in the exact same way. Do this 3 times. Repeat this exercise 4 times. Speed and pelvis control
Tightening your muscles causes tension, and tension causes ejaculation. Tension, however, is not the only factor leading to ejaculation; speed is also very important. Your goal here is to move your pelvis very, very slowly.
The speed in which you penetrate your woman/sexual partner (the speed of your ins and outs) is crucial. The faster you move during penetration the faster you will come. You need to unlearn “fast” and learn “slow”; slow movements of your pelvis will give you much more control on your own sexual arousal and ejaculation. Again, you will use the contrast technique.
First, you will do the exercise as fast as you can. Raise your back breathing out, lower your back breathing in. Little by little, start increasing the speed of your movement. Do it as fast as possible. Now, reverse the process.
Reduce the speed of your movement. Move as slowly as possible. Count to 5 (5 seconds) when you raise your back, then count to 5 when you lower your back. Do this 3 times. Moving slow during sex increases your ability to control your sexual arousal, but it also increases the eroticism and communication between you and your woman. Repeat this exercise 4 times.
Move your pelvis while standing
Goal: to move your pelvis without moving your back. Here, you will learn to distinguish between the movement of your back as a whole and the specific movement of your pelvis alone.
This exercise is more difficult than the previous one because you have no support. Before, you had the support coming from the doggy-style position, as you put your hands on the floor; now, you will learn to control your movement without it. When you move your pelvis independently from your back, you are using fewer muscles.
On top of that, you get more pleasure and you can also control your arousal. You control it by letting it go up and down whenever you want. The technique While standing, keep your legs at a distance, the same distance you keep between your shoulders. Keep your feet parallel to each other and slightly bended. Move you pelvis forward and then backwards. Do this 30 times. You can put your hands on your waist to help your pelvis move. Use a mirror to make it easier.
You must isolate the movement of your pelvis. Observe that when you move your pelvis forward, it also moves upwards. The same happens when you move your pelvis backwards. You MUST NOT move your entire body, nor to bend forward or backwards.
Breathing
You will synchronize the pelvic movement with your breath. A trick here in order not to get confused is to remember to breathe out when your penis goes forward (i.e. during penetration) and to breath in when your penis withdraws (i.e. when it gets out of the vagina). While standing, do 30 pelvic movements.
Repeat this exercise, while remembering to breathe from your belly and make a big move with your pelvis. This will help you spread the arousal of your genitals to your entire body, reducing its tension.
Breathe out, while doing a big pelvic movement forward. Breathe in, while doing a big pelvic movement backwards. Do this 30 times. Start again this exercise making sure you keep your chest area relaxed when you breathe out and bring your pelvis forward. This will allow you to reduce even further your muscular tension. Do this 30 times.
Feel your gluteal muscles (buttocks) while standing
Goal: To understand, tighten, and relax your buttocks. Many men use consciously or unconsciously their buttocks to make the pelvic movement during penetration.
These muscles, however, are the biggest ones in your body and can create a lot of muscular tension and arousal? Every time you tighten your buttocks and move your pelvis forward you actually get self-aroused (i.e. you make yourself horny for no good reason).
With this exercise you will learn the difference between the feeling of tightened and relaxed muscles; you will learn to understand when your muscles get tightened in order to relax them immediately and at will. Stand up, keep legs open, hands on your buttocks. Tighten your buttocks. Feel the contraction of the muscles.
Now, slowly relax them. Feel the relaxation. Observe the difference between these two phases. What are the sensations you feel in your buttocks when you tighten them and when you relax them? Do this 30 times.
Move your pelvis while standing (tension)
Goal: To move your pelvis with as little muscular tension as possible during sex.
While standing, breathe out as you bring your pelvis forward, tightening your buttocks. Feel them tightened now. During sex you will have to avoid the tightening. I am just telling you what NOT TO DO. Breathe in when the pelvis goes backwards.
Do this 10 times. Now, make the same movement with your buttocks relaxed. You will have the impression you are making a smaller move, but in fact the movement is reduced slightly. Feel your buttocks relaxed. This is how they SHOULD BE during sex. Do this 10 times. Repeat each step 3 times. Exercise 11: Move your pelvis while standing (speed)
Goal: to make the pelvic movement really slow.
Move your pelvis while standing REALLY SLOW. You need to focus. If you like, count to 5 as you make the move forward; then, count to 5 as you make the move backwards. Alternatively, you can synchronize the pelvic movement with your breath.
Move your pelvis forward as you breathe out and backwards as you breathe in. Do this 10 times. Then, accelerate your movement. Start moving your pelvis as much as you can, letting loose your breathing. Do this 10 times. Now, slow down and make a few really slow movements. Repeat at least 3 times. Arousal, eroticism and body opening control
You already learned to recognize your breath during sexual arousal. You also know how to recognize the moment when you enter the pre-ejaculation phase. Now, you will start to understand the sensations in your entire body during your arousal.
While you are aroused, are your belly muscles tightened? Does your breath come from your chest? Does it become faster? Are your movements faster? Are you muscles tight? Are you focused on the sexual stimuli? Do you feel increased pleasure?
If you answered “yes” to all these, it means you understand well the signs of your arousal. You have the ability to discern the signs and apply these techniques at the right moment. Realize your body’s reactions and familiarize yourself with them.
This is a very interesting exploration, a very personal journey with one destination: knowing yourself and controlling your arousal. Try to satisfy regularly your natural needs for ejaculation. When you feel that, don’t hesitate to satisfy yourself. This way, you will not accumulate sexual tension. During the point-of-no-return don’t try to stop it; let go and enjoy it, instead. Opening Your Body
To have better control over the timing of your ejaculation, you’d better keep your eyes open, your mouth half-open, and your thighs at a distance during sex. When you keep your eyes closed, you tend to focus on the sensation of your penis, to not move your pelvis independently from your back, and to clench your muscles, which leads you to ejaculate much faster.
When your mouth is open, the air can come in and out freely from your lungs. This way, the pressure on your lungs is reduced faster and it’s easier to relax your muscles. Moreover, your jaw muscles and lips are not clenched, and the relaxation of your whole body becomes easier.
Your thighs tend naturally to touch each other when you are aroused and sometimes tremble. When, instead, you keep your thighs at a distance, you avoid this natural effect and you increase your control over your ejaculation.
Reverse your breathing when aroused in the pre-ejaculation phase – the “let loose” principle
Goal: To be able to breathe again from your belly and relax ALL your muscular tensions just before you reach the point-of-no-return without trying to prevent your ejaculation if it comes.
If you manage to relax all muscular tension and reduce your arousal, fine; if, on the other hand, you ejaculate, let it be so and enjoy it. Sit normally on a chair. Put in your belly and keep it clenched.
Breathe from your chest and accelerate the pace of your breath, just like you do when you reach your pre-ejaculation phase. Take 8 breaths like that. Now, fast, relax your belly and body. With the next breath, you let your belly inflate like a balloon and you allow the air to go deep down into your lungs.
When you breathe out let your belly, chest, shoulders, neck, jaw, arms, and legs relax. Take 5 breaths like that. Repeat 3 times. Clench you belly again. Start breathing from your chest and accelerate your breath.
Imagine you are having sex. You enter the pre-ejaculation phase. Take 8 to 10 breaths like that. You feel the sensations in your penis and pelvis. You observe that your belly is clenched and you breathe from your chest. You reach the point-of-no-return. Now, immediately, you reverse your breath and you relax your body.
Let your belly inflate like a balloon, as you breathe in. As you breathe out, you relax your belly, chest, shoulders and all other clenched parts of your body. Do this 5 times. Tell yourself “I am letting myself free”. Repeat 3 times. After you do this exercise 2-3 times in normal mode, you will do it during masturbation and sex as well.
Move your pelvis in the cat position (knees and hands on the floor) – eroticism
Goal: to make the pelvic movement, not mechanically, but erotically.
Your goal here is not to learn some “cold” techniques; it is to feel pleasure, while doing them, so they become natural and erotic. From this point on, you will combine your technical knowledge with your sexuality.
The first step for you is to understand the sensations you receive from your own movements and get pleasure from them. You will, thus, think less and less about techniques and become more and more erotic.
As you control your arousal, you will get more pleasure. You will understand your sexual stimuli and you will taste them without reaching the point-of-no-return. While you are in the cat position, move your pelvis in slow motion. Receive the stimuli from your back, and chest. Improvise. Move your pelvis and back very slowly.
Now, accelerate. Now, make a little pause. During the entire movement, but also during the pause, FEEL YOUR BODY. Start again. Make big moves, then very small ones. Taste the sensations coming from the various movements of your body.
These sensations are not very special, nor very intense, but you still receive some kind of pleasure. This exercise teaches you how to acquire an acute sense of your body; to understand every little reaction or feeling; to eventually learn to enjoy these reactions, as you move erotically. Improvise for 3 minutes. Take a break for 3 minutes. Rinse and repeat. Exercise 14: Move your pelvis while standing (eroticism)
While standing and having your hands on your waist, start moving your pelvis. As your pelvis moves forward, feel the little clenching of your belly and buttocks. As your pelvis moves backwards, feel the lower part of your belly. Pay attention to every reaction in your body, as you move. Do this 3 times. Now, improvise. Move your pelvis backwards, but very slowly. Accelerate. Make a pause. Feel your body. Start again. Embrace the sensations coming from your various moves.
Final things to bear in mind.
Most men will choose to stay in their comfort zone, unwilling to take responsibility for their sex lives, and not daring to break the vicious cycle of premature ejaculation. Some others will not believe it’s even possible to overcome it, while many will think “it’s too much work”.
Fortunately, you are not one of them. You dared to recognize a very common problem that’s troubling you and you decided to finally deal with it. You are a fixer who takes control of his life, not a complainer.
I am exactly like you and it was my desire to share how I did it, so that other men will benefit from my story. The information you read above come directly from the sex therapy program I personally followed under the instructions of my sex therapist friend.
As you might have understood, there are two components in overcoming premature ejaculation, both of which are part of the program I followed; controlling your mind and controlling your body. Let’s face it: we are what we think.
The ideas we have shape our emotions, and our emotions shape the world we live in. Wrong ideas and false expectations will lead to negative perceptions on sex, women, and your role as a man. Your mind can be either your friend or your worst enemy. It depends on what you feed it.
Most men who suffer from premature ejaculation share a common ground of false ideas on what great sex is; they think great sex is a marathon competition which “should” last for hours. They think that their partner’s orgasm is one of their sacred duties and obligations. Ultimately, they experience sex not as their own masculine pleasure, but as another ground to prove themselves.
This is how I used to think before I learned to rewire my thinking patterns and before I practiced the 14 exercises I shared with you in this book. This was the kind of pressure I used to put on myself; the pressure of false ideas. Ironically, putting pressure on your sex life can only lead to the exact opposite effect. So, do you believe you “should” last for hours? No wonder you end up lasting two minutes.
Do you consider women your judges and interviewers, rather than the objects of your desire? No wonder you end up “not performing”. False ideas no more. Myths no more. In the first chapter, I shared with you the reframing I learned to impose on my thoughts to change the way I thought of sex, women, and me.
The faster you get rid of these ideas yourself, the faster premature ejaculation will become a distant memory. However, men who suffer from premature ejaculation have also another thing in common apart from the way they think. It’s their lack of awareness of their basic body functions. I was exactly like that.
I was oblivious to my breathing patterns and I had no idea how much I clenched my muscles during sex. No wonder how “automatic” my ejaculation felt! I had no control of it because I was not mindful of my short and rapid breathing, my tightened muscles and my fast heartbeat.
My complete ignorance of my own body during sex was eradicated thanks to the 14 exercises I religiously practiced and I shared with you in the second chapter. I practiced again and again for 60 days.
I managed to gain control over my breathing and muscles. I learned to feel tension and relax at will. I learned to control my sexual arousal and therefore my ejaculation. So, you have it all.
All you needed to join the club with the men who changed their minds and understood their bodies; men who managed to go from 2 minutes in bed to 60 minutes in 60 days or less; men who defeated fear and self-doubt and rediscovered their way to give and receive pleasure during sex.
If you want to cure premature ejaculation naturally and permanently, then the 13 minutes plus premature ejaculation program is what you don’t want to miss. Click the link below to get the program.
For more information about premature ejaculation and men’s sexual life in general you might want to have a look at the list below.
Premature ejaculation university e-book
How to satisfy everywoman every time e-book
Sex education 18+
Men’s sexual store
