Exercise one: Understanding your body
Sexuality starts from hearing your body and knowing how it feels. The goal of this exercise is to learn how to recognize automatically what you feel in every given moment. This is an exercise of awareness, an opening to yourself.
While you are sitting, bring your attention to the different parts of your body. Begin with having awareness of your touch. Feel the sense that your cloths give on your skin and understand the difference in how you feel the naked parts of your body. Observe your muscles. See if there is tension in the muscles of your face, neck, back, chest, belly, hips, hands, legs and feet.
Welcome the sensations you receive from the different parts of your body. Last, see if you can spontaneously detect any feeling or emotion you might have within you. If you can’t, it’s ok. You will become able to recognize your emotions at a later stage of this program. You will progressively be able recognize and understand your emotions.
Your emotions are demonstrated in the area of your belly, chest, face, shoulders, neck, breath, as well as in your entire body. Emotions have a life cycle which grows and is expressed before it disappears. A sigh as we breathe out often shows us that an emotion has completed its life cycle.
Exercise two: Understanding your breathing movements
The goal of this exercise is to learn how to recognize the type of your breath; to understand when you breathe from your chest and when from your belly. Eventually, you will become able to change at will your breathing from chest breathing to belly breathing.
This will allow you to relax your body and mind during sex, especially when your breath becomes automatically chest-induced and increases your arousal. Pay attention to the air which comes through your two nostrils, it comes down your throat and fills your lungs. Observe the minor motion of your chest as you breathe in and out for 2 minutes. Then, observe whether your abdominal muscles are tightened and relax them.
Check if there is a minor motion of your belly as you breathe. If there is no motion, allow progressively for more air to come to the lower part of your lungs. This way, your belly will start to inflate like a balloon every time you inhale.
Make sure that you don’t force your breathing. It’s important that your body remains relaxed and that your in-breathing is almost equal to your out-breathing. With every inbreathing, feel your belly as it gets slightly inflated.
With each out-breathing, feel the organs of your belly area as they relax. Have the sensation that your belly deflates. No need for pressure. As your body relaxes, you automatically start breathing from your belly.
Your breath is demonstrated in different body parts and at different speed depending on your activity, your emotions and the arousal you are experiencing. During your day, if you get anxious with something, pay attention to your breathing and how it changes from belly induced to chest-induced. Try to change it back to belly-induced. Without interrupting the flow of this technique, go on to the next exercise in order to relax your entire body.
Exercise three: Relaxing your body
The relaxation of your body helps you to fight anxiety and focus on the pleasure of sensations. Furthermore, it helps you reduce your sexual arousal. If you do the exercise separately from the previous exercises, start with 2 to 3 minutes belly breathing.
Sit comfortably on your chair/couch/bed. Close your eyes and relax. Start breathing from your belly, counting to 3 as you inhale and again to 3 as you exhale. Observe your toes, feet, calves, and thighs. As you observe each part one by one, feel the tension leaving from your body.
It would help, if during the exhalation you imagined that a burden leaves from these body parts and goes down to the floor. Feel your two legs completed relaxed. Breathe calmly and deeply. Feel the air as it goes in and out of your body. Pay attention to your thighs and then to your pelvis.
Let your muscles relax. Then, allow this sense of relaxation to go to your belly and the lower part of your back. During the exhalation let the tension move from the lower part of your body to the floor. You might feel that your body sinks into your seat. Make sure that the entire area of your pelvis is relaxed.
Your abdominal muscles, chest, and neck are the areas where anxiety appears. Start to relax the upper part of your body as well: chest, shoulders, neck, and arms.
As you observe these areas, feel how any kind of tension leaves. Feel how each and every one of these areas sinks into your seat and goes down as well.
In the same fashion, observe the muscles around your head. The squeezing of your muscles reflects your emotions. If you relax your facial muscles, you will see that the tension of your emotions is reduced. As you exhale, feel how your jaw, cheeks, lips, eyes, and forehead become relaxed. Feel how your entire body has relaxed. At the same time, see how your mind becomes calmer and more focused. Exercise four: Breathe reversal when aroused
In a relaxed state, you breathe from your belly. However, during the sexual arousal your breath comes from your chest because the muscles of your belly get tightened automatically. The result is that your breath doesn’t reach your belly, but instead it remains “trapped” into your chest.
Some minor muscular tension is needed during your arousal, but you can control it to avoid being too much turned on. In the near future, you will become able to control your muscular tension through the reversal of your breathing from chest-induced to belly induced.
Flex your abdominal muscles and let yourself breathe from your chest. Feel the tension rising in your tightened belly. Now, take 3 breaths and relax the muscles of your belly. Observe that your breath becomes automatically belly-induced. Take 3 belly-induced breaths. With each exhalation you relax both your chest and your belly.
Repeat this exercise 3 times from the beginning. Repeat these exercises at least 3 times this week when you are alone, relaxed, and focused without being aroused. Do these exercises in a quiet environment. Then, do these exercises during masturbation. You need to start to understand the reactions of your body during the pre-ejaculation phase and the point of no-return (the point of no-return is the peak of your arousal just when you are about to come).
During masturbation, observe yourself. See whether your belly is flexed and whether you breathe from your chest. If you detect something like that, try to reverse your breathing in order to breathe from your belly. Observe the effect of this reversal on your arousal. You don’t have to breathe from your belly all the time during sex or masturbation.
This, however, is the best tool to control your arousal. Try sometimes to make slow moves, and when you reach the pre-ejaculation phase stop for a while and start breathing from your belly until your penis is relaxed.
After this, start again. When you feel that you manage well to control your arousal during masturbation, you can try it during sex when you are laid back and she is on top, while you are the one who adjusts her speed. Tell her to move at a slower pace or to stop if you feel very turned on.
Tell her also to move less up and down and more in a cyclical fashion in order to avoid too much friction (and excitement) on your penis. You will not see a great difference in your ability to control your arousal during sex in this initial stage. DO NOT GET DISAPPOINTED! Repetition of this exercise is a MUST, and together with the next exercises you are about to learn you will bring about the results you desire.
BEAR IN MIND
If you don’t have sex for some time, it is possible that your sexual arousal will be rapidly increased and you will come fast. It is very important that you keep a steady frequency for your sexual release depending on your very own personal needs. Sex is like a sport. It requires systematic learning and practice.
Just like the athlete who practices a lot before he plays, you, the lover, must practice your technique and be in shape. Masturbation can be used as a training ground for you through which you will experiment and hone your skill without any fear or anxiety on whether you will satisfy your partner or not.
In a nutshell, masturbation is your personal care-free sexual gym. Many men make a huge effort not to come, when they reach their point-of-no-return. They tighten their thighs and belly, they hold their breath, they clench their fists, and they bite their lips.
This is only natural when we try to stop a function of our bodies and not give in to a physical urge. Ironically, the efforts to stop this specific urge to ejaculate by tightening our muscles and holding our breath have the exact opposite effect! As you reach your point-of no-return, you MUST LET GO and relax your muscles.
Don’t try to hold back. Relax your belly, thighs, and jaw. This way, you will manage to reduce your arousal. You will decrease your arousal to a level you can handle. You will regain control and avoid ejaculating.
You continue the breathing exercises you learned. Your breath is the fundamental tool of control. Control your breath and you control your arousal. Breathing from your belly gives you a very good way of control, but it also plays a role in your eroticism and the pleasure you get during sex. I will teach you how to feel your eroticism later.
Exercise four: Fast & willing reversal of breathing during pre-ejaculation phase.
Goal: to reverse you’re breathing fast and effectively before you feel the urge to ejaculate.
First, as you sit, tighten your belly and start breathing from your chest fast just like the way you breathe when you are about to reach the pre-ejaculation phase. Now, FAST relax your belly.
Let your next breath inflate your belly like a balloon and let the air come down to the bottom of your stomach. As you breathe out let loose your belly and chest. Breathe like this 5 times. Second, as you are laid back, repeat this exercise using your imagination in order to enter a state similar to that of a sexual encounter.
Try to reach your highest level of arousal, taking 8 to 10 fast breaths. Observe the sensations around the area of your penis and in between your thighs. Observe your breath as it becomes faster and coming from your chest.
See how tightened your belly is. Reverse FAST your breath. NOW. Inflate your belly like a balloon. As you breathe out let loose your belly and chest. Do this 5 times.
Third, repeat this exercise during masturbation.
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For more information about premature ejaculation and men’s sexual life in general you might want to have a look at the list below.
Premature ejaculation university e-book
How to satisfy everywoman every time e-book
Sex education 18+
Men’s sexual store